Doesn’t the title say it all?
Find out the Do's and Don't's of Fisting! -
One of my favorite and most endearing sexual acts that I absolutely enjoy when topping is fisting. I have a special place in my heart for the ones I have been honored to fist.♥
This act alone has inspired an art piece that has been in progress over the past year or so…I think I might just have the inspiration to finish it before the year is over.
It is almost International Fisting Day - chew on this five fingered fun from 2011 until the big day on Sunday, October 21, 2012. -XO
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In response to the act of fisting being considered “obscene” and therefore censored in pornography distribution, queer porn pioneers Jizz Lee and Courtney Trouble have sanctioned the first ever International Fisting Day. The creation of this monumental occasion has sparked some interesting dialogue about this five-fingered sex act. Watching the way this topic has trickled into our conversations over lunch, the internet and news sources has been fascinating. I have seen words and images of overjoyed fisting enthusiasts who are thrilled to see one of their favorite and most pleasurable activities being honored with an official day. I have enjoyed discussions with friends, co-workers and my lover about the nuances of this intimate act. I have read some clever comments like “And I thought fist pumps were on the outs…”. And I have seen many phobic and ignorant responses about fisting like, “Disgusting”, “I had no idea…”, “Thats ruining vaginas!”, “Ew- She’s using gloves!”, and “I am so grossed out!”. To me this illustrates the disparity of knowledge about this sexual act. More specifically it shows the lack of knowledge about sexuality that does not fall within the nicely drawn lines of heteronormative acceptability. This day gives fisting something that is very important when trying to expand and improve our society’s sexual culture: visibility.
Visibility is a huge part of why queer porn exists in the first place. We are creating a platform to show who, how and why we like to fuck - showcasing alternative sexualities, body types and acts as hot and desirable. Seeing our sex lives represented in film gives us an immense sense of validation in a society that seldom does. When something is not visible it means that it is not important enough or there is something that is indecent, offensive, abhorrent, disgusting, wrong, repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles. Which are all words that define obscene in the webster dictionary.
As a sex-educator and porn performer one of my goals is to work towards creating a healthier sexual culture. This includes removing stigma and shame about one’s sexuality. Labeling fisting as obscene and censoring the act in films perpetuates stigma. It continues to create a deepening divide between queer/not queer, kinky/vanilla, decent/indecent, right/wrong, which promotes a sexual climate that is full of ignorance, judgment, shame and guilt.
I believe that one of the best ways to demystify something is to share your own story. I share A LOT of myself on camera and on the internet. While much of the time I use my nipples, mouth, cunt and dirty words to tantalize and pleasure you, I also hope to be encouraging an attitude of sexual freedom, experimentation, intelligence and capability within all of you. My “hands-on” experience with fisting started last spring for a shoot for the Feminist Porn Network. My fisting ventures have been public, private, sweet, powerful, playful, intense and sometimes delightfully filthy - but by no means have they been obscene.
My First Time: I was working an all day shoot for Madison Young’s Feminist Porn Network. It had been a full day of on-camera masturbation, dirty stories, kinky photos, phone sex, POV sex and culminating in an epic fisting scene for the launch of Maggie’s New site FemiFist.com. I was a little nervous as I am sure that the fact that I had just fucked her into a puddle on the dining room table next to a bowl of juicy ripe peaches a few minutes prior was great motivation to get deep inside of me! Maggie treated my very first time being fisted like the pro that she is. She got me nice and aroused - utilizing the magic of the Hitachi magic wand and her dirty mouth and lots of lube. She kept in constant communication with me- went slower and faster as I asked for it. And before I knew it she had fisted me into a flurry, making me loudly gush and orgasm all around her hands and wrists. I remember feelings of fullness, awe and respect at the dance that was just performed between her fist and my opening. You will be able to see the debut scene of this five finger revolution come to life here very soon: http://femifist.com/wordpress/?page_id=41
The second time:
I was fisted as part of a Kink University demonstration video facilitated by my babealicious porn wife, Courtney Trouble. Our porn “marriage” is based on both being badass curvy femmes who have a mutual affinity for ravaging each other while wearing high heels and lots of lipstick. Then when we are done we joyfully wipe each other’s pussy juice off our hands, go drink whiskey and talk about photography, our family, fiances/boyfriends, landlords, websites and make-up. The trust and connection was there and I loved this experience. It was like being in the front row of a class on my vagina. I was in this interesting state of arousal and curiosity as I watched and took note of how my body responded. Each motion had a different result of contraction or expansion, give and take, until I had fully swallowed her whole hand. This almost scientific analysis of my body’s capability made me think of my pleasure in an entirely new way. We had basically consummated our porn marriage by putting the ring of my vagina around her fingers!
My Third time:
My partner and I are in a long distance relationship. The amount of physical time we spend together is pretty minimal. Keeping that connection and closeness while 2000 miles a part is not always easy. When we were deciding to be together he said to me, “I only wanna dip my paws in you!”, It was the best thing I had ever heard. In spite of the distance and a bruised beginning - that phrase solidified us. Fisting is a sexual act that encourages intimacy, patience, trust and closeness between us. The fisting process is slow. It requires both people involved to be present, engaged and connected. When He starts to fist me, every thought and worry leave my head. Any walls I have up have to be taken down. My mind and body start to pay complete attention to him and how his hand is causing me to feel. I love watching him watch my body cues: my breath quickens and slows, my eyes close then open to search hungrily for him, my cunt restricts and expands telling him how much further and harder he can go. There is so much thought, care and cooperation involved with him filling me up completely. I am literally making room for him inside me. This is especially meaningful to me when there is a physical absence between us right now. He was just here visiting me last week. The last night he was here we decided that that the distance and other factors were just too hard and that we would not be together anymore. After an awkward dinner out we came home and crawled into bed. I laid there in the dark and sad hot tears streamed down my face. Despite our decision, our bodies searched for each other in the dark, my mouth was on his mouth, his fingers were in my cunt. I told him that I wanted all of him inside me. He worked his way inside me and I let him in deeper than I had before. My cunt gushed the same way that my eyes were and after I came over and over on his hand, wrist and forearm, my body did not let him go. I felt like I was holding on to him with everything that I had. Something had changed - I let him in further than I had before and he wanted to be there.
willpluffindaily asked: Not really an ask but not really a submission either- just wanted to tell y'all that I'm taking a class called Theology and Sexuality & today we talked abt Fisting Day. A partner and I had to lead a discussion about a "current event" that also dealt with some kind of theological interpretation. Found this site via Jiz's twitter, then found the post about Song of Solomon. So we lead a class discussion on that post and Fisting Day. Yep, hella undergrads discussing fisting. Thx Jiz and Courtney <3
That’s freakin awesome, friend! Thanks for sharing.
Drawing of Jiz Lee and Papi Coxxx, by Suzanne Forbes / see the scene at http://queerporn.tv
I’m in the hospital with my brother, so I won’t get to fully celebrate this year’s Fisting Day, but I thought I’d share a legal summary I did last year about Fisting, Obscenity laws and Freedom of Expression for those who might want to know why fisting day is not only fun but also political.
And, a bit of reminiscing about how I celebrated fisting day last year. Le sigh. All these latex-free gloves and nurse outfits, yet no fisting.
Thanks again to Courtney Trouble and Jiz Lee for spreading awareness about the ridiculousness of obscenity laws in the USA.
From my blog, CourtneyTrouble.Com : It’s My Party and I’ll Fist If I Want To.
I had in the works, this performance art piece prepared for tonight, on the second annual Fisting Day (created last year by myself and my dear friend and partner in obscenity Jiz Lee), but I cancelled it yesterday. The performance was to set myself up in a dark, warm tactile dome where party guests could slide in to the darnkess and fist me, nude and lying on a platform, lit by black light and wearing a black “censored” bar across my eyes. It was going to be nude sushi meets Cafe Flesh. I’ll do it next year, but this year – I don’t want to be fisted.
Wait! OMG! BUT IT IS FISTING DAY! And I am a professional porn actor who can magically pull a fist into my body at any given notice, or ten or twenty, all in the name of art, politics, and a paycheck! … Right? …. right?
Right. I am a magical creature with a body capable of just about anything sexual. I make a living off of it. And on Fisting Day of all days I should be ready to get right down to it, but today, I’d much rather get a massage, give my lover a blowjob, masturbate in the dark warm safety of my own bed, and take a nap. And THINK about fisting.
I think that this is what sex positivity might all be about. Giving yourself consent, listening to your own consent. This is the kind of listening to your body, respecting your needs, and shoving aside sexual performance goals that makes fisting, and other taboo sex acts, sex-positive. You give your body the permission to do these things, you allow it to happen when it’s right, when it’s easy.
For myself and other porn performers, when the call of duty alarms we jump to the ready and prepare ourselves with lots of rest, water, and lube (and maybe a practice sesh with our co-star), the same way anyone else would get ready for work really – but remember, when you’re one of those fisting day fans out there who has yet to “succeed” in fisting with your sex partner – you haven’t failed. Because you have committed to trying, the act of preparation, the act of communication – you’ve already won. Knowing when it’s time, and when it’s not time – is the most important part of sex positive, fist-positive sex.
So, back to thinking about fisting on Fisting Day. What’s happened since last fisting day, in regards to the politics that were bringing us down? Virtually nothing. In fact, I am still actively being censored for including it in my work, including the upcoming Valencia The Movie in which I shot and performed in a fisting sex scene with Quinn Cassidy for a chapter of Michelle Tea’s book that was *about* fisting – the 2 second explicit shot of his fist going inside me has been cut for a version of the film that’s being submitted to film festivals. Michelle has said she will fight for the fist in future versions, but I can’t help but wonder what a fist would look like, and incite in the audiences, of some place like Sundance or Frameline.
The companies that rejected Live Sex Show due to it’s fisting scene are still unwavering in their policies against the act. Live Sex Show is still only available for sale at a few super sex-positive stores like Early 2 Bed and Fatale Media - though you can watch the infamous fisting scene with Jiz Lee and Nina Hartley streaming on my site Indie Porn Revolution any time you like, and you can get the download to keep from my online store, and in November – you’ll be able to rent it from Pink and White Production‘s top secret VOD project, making this project the first and only place to rent Live Sex Show online in it’s entirety… but you’ll hear more about that in a week or two.
All the fist-positivity is still on such a small scale. And that’s OK if that means that we are keeping our queer dollars in our queer community, and directly supporting the companies that support us as fist-positive people. It’s OK if we are challenging our own sex politics, not “yukking people’s yums” and broadening our own understandings of sex, sex positivity, and the diversity of desire.
Sometimes, people just don’t want the fist. And that’s OK, just as long as they’re still thinking about it! And that’s why I implore you to call up your local sex-positive porn stores and demand that they carry fist-positive pornos. Write in to your favorite VOD sites and request that they show fisting. Host fist-positive sex ed workshops in your town.
And remember, the first step of being fist-positive is knowing that it’s not supposed to be painful, difficult, or done on an unwilling body. If it’s not time, take a day off and come back to it later. It’s totally OK!
xoxo Courtney Trouble
Why Is Fisting Day Important? -
In this week’s Shepherd Express SEXpress column, I talk about why I think Fisting Day is important and link back to past columns where I answer reader questions about fisting. In short: it’s not a violent activity, it can be amazing if it’s your thing, and anyone of any gender can do it.
Classic. Arabelle Raphael fisting me, photo by Chi Rue
Let’s talk fisting. One of my twitter followers oh so kindly pointed out that she’d looked for an article on fisting, or how to fist a vagina, or vaginal fisting 101 by me, and couldn’t find anything. I felt a little of a failure, and so, here it is. While of course, coming to a class (mine or someone else’s) is obviously a more in-depth (oh, I’m so punny) experience, here are some great tips for those of you without the opportunity to experience fisting education up close and personal.
Firstly, when people think fisting, they often think of a big, angry fist, like the kind you’d punch someone with. While some people do enjoy more aggressive fisting with a full fist, that’s not where you start off. Make a big duck lip with your hand. THAT is what you’re going to begin with (well, you begin with one finger, then two, and work your way up to the duck lips). Every vagina/cunt/etc is different; the direction that it will go in depends on the person. You might hold it rightside up, upside down, or even sideways or on a diagonal angle. It’s like putting a puzzle together, except it involves a hand and a opening instead of puzzle pieces. Exploring the vagina or exploring the cunt (whatever work you prefer), is part of the fun!
The key to fisting is to go slowly, as you’ll read more about below. Slow and steady wins the race. It might not happen the first time, second time, even the first ten times you try. That’s ok. This is not about who get get their hand inside their partner the fastest. It’s about a really instense and immensely enjoyable experience. If it doesn’t happen at first, enjoy the journey and the experience and the exploration, and try try again, using different angles, etc.
Q: Will fisting ruin me for “normal” sex?
A: NO! Of course not. Just because you’ve been fisted doesn’t mean now you can ONLY be fisted and won’t enjoy other types of sexual activity. People who have been fisting can and do enjoy oral sex, anal sex, oral-anal sex, cocks, dicks, dildos, fingers, vibrators, butt plugs, shower heads, hot tubs and more. In fact, even if you fist on a regular basis, and then take some time (a month +) off of fisting, you may have to start up all slowly again. The body is an amazing thing,and vaginas/cunts are very elastic. They go right back to where they were.
Read answers to these questions and more on Vaginal Fisting Basics.