Yup, it’s a real day. Why? Well, it’s mostly about fisting being viewed as an extreme sex act that isn’t allowed in mainstream porn. Apparently, it’s too difficult for some companies to take the time to differentiate between punching and fisting. If there were no difference, then why would there be different terminology? So today we’re talking about who likes to be fisted, who likes to do the fisting, and why, really, it’s not that big of a deal. I can see why mainstream porn, and by that I mean porn that caters to straight older men (aka the ones who spend the most money on it) because fisting requires patience and communication and is really about the pleasure of the person being fisted. It’s slow, it’s gradual, it’s penetration without a penis. Sooooo yeah. Maybe not the scene that the traditional demographic is into.
But seriously? Fuck those people.
Fisting Day is a way to make the market share of people that want to see EXACTLY that visible! Through all the social media platforms people are sharing how hot that whole scenario is and would love for more of that, please. Those of us who think it’s important for erotic imagery to depict consent and communication and real pleasure would like some market share recognition too.
Chasing Amy, 1997, written and directed by Kevin Smith.
I first heard about fisting in 1997 (when I was 19) while watching Chasing Amy in the theater. I remember looking around at the folks in their seats to see who was squirming. Instead I saw two women to my left, both with wide knowing grins. Eye-brows lifting in what can only be described as the “thats that good shit” expression. Oh. My. Ahem. Well. My own first time being fisted was wonderful and amazing and my partner was so caring and careful and communicative. And yep those women were exactly right.
Flash forward a decade and a half and I’m asking other parents to share their perspective on fisting. Who knew?
I put out a call on Facebook and twitter asking if childbirth altered anyone’s feelings about being fisted. Two responses really stood out!
First from Maddie:
I never really thought about it before, but yes, childbirth did change the way I felt about the idea of fisting. Granted, I had my first child at 19, so many sexual things seemed exotic or even dangerous. But definitely after feeling and seeing what the vagina is really capable of without injury or “losing shape”, I didn’t balk when I eventually had a partner that mentioned having fisted a previous partner (even double), and the idea and his enthusiasm really turned me on.
Again, some of that is also due to increasing age and experience, but I do look at pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing as the time when I truly started to admire and gain confidence in my body, and all the things it could do. Far from the stereotype, motherhood improved my social and sex life tremendously!
Can’t lie, that made my heart all aflutter. Thanks so much for sharing, Maddie!
The second contributor asked to remain anonymous:
I’ve always preferred girth over depth when it comes to penetrative sex. Prior to childbirth, I could only accommodate my partner’s hand to her knuckles. I enjoyed the feeling of having the opening of my vagina stretched from side to side. However, after childbirth – WAY after childbirth, it took a while for my body to feel recovered – we found that my partner’s hand was naturally able to slide in deeper. After some very pleasurable warming up, she was suddenly wrist-deep and I experienced the most incredible feeling – the feeling of my lover’s fist completely inside me. For me, fisting sex is when I feel the closest to my partner, I feel fulfilled physically and emotionally, heck – it’s a spiritual experience. It’s transcendental. And, I had never quite been able to do that before childbirth.
Beautiful! Many thanks, Madame Anonymous for adding your voice to the Fisting Day conversation.
If you who would like more info on Fisting Day, and the folks who started it, you can check out their website, facebook page, twitter (@fistingday) and tumblr. These links are for 18+ and NSFW.